What I’m Eating:
Just six months ago, my inner fitness goddess was a badass, tattoo embellished, hair in the wind chick on a Harley with oodles of goals and plenty of places to go. That girl was smoking hot and unstoppable. So she thought. Everything changed when her Harley ran out of gas and she’d maxed out the mojo funds going too fast, too soon. Now, she’s slowly trucking along in her 1971 baby blue Ford Pinto, still moving forward, but riding down a completely different path this time. And that’s okay. It’s all part of the journey.
I’ve been away from the blog and YouTube community for a few months now, but I’m still hanging around. I have no plans of giving up on my fitness and weight loss goals anytime soon. I just a hit a few bumps in the road and it took a little while to get back up. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes you need to fall flat on your ass before you realize exactly what you’ve been doing wrong or need to improve on. Some sabotagers are obvious like eating an extra bowl of pasta after dinner or eating out three or four times throughout the week instead of bringing your own lunch to work, but there are those other buggers that don’t show up so easily under the flood lights or even a microscope. I call my invisible buggers denial and anxiety.
Sometimes there are events in your life that shake you to the core, that wake up old demons and memories that you thought you’d conquered and killed off years ago. What I’m beginning to understand is that if you don’t face them, truly confront them as oppose to going around them, they’ll follow you through every aspect of your life. Many of us struggle with them a lot throughout our weight loss journeys and if they don’t show up in the form of self-deprecation, screaming fits, depression, or something else, it’s sure enough going to show up on the scale.
With that said, enough with the sad stuff. It’s a new year, new day, new second. We’ve got to make the best of it, right? I decided that I could care less about new year’s resolutions this time around. I’ve planned, plotted, diagrammed, and app-ed (Is that even a word?) my way through the first part of my journey and in the end it drove me crazy. I’m opting to JUST DO IT this year and to get back on that Harley once again, but this time I’m letting my body tell me what it needs. If it’s telling me that it’s tired at 9:30 p.m., then I’m taking my booty to bed instead of forcing it to stay up until midnight simply because I’ve convinced myself that adults don’t go to bed before 11 o’clock. On second thought, maybe that is exactly what “responsible” adults do. If my body’s craving a little sweetness, I’ll give it to her, but in a smaller bowl or maybe even just a spoonful. Sounds like a good idea, but we’ll have to see how that goes. More importantly, when I feel the stress coming on, I have to figure out a healthier way to deal with it instead of bottling it up and using food to cope. Honestly, for me, that’s what I want to focus on more than anything this year. Creating a healthier me from the inside out. I know how to lose weight, workout, and make banging green juice, I just have to learn how not to let the emotional stuff make me feel like I don’t deserve to have or keep that kind of success.
So there, Folks, you have it. My introduction back into the blogging community. As always, I wish you all the best with your weight loss and fitness goals.
I have to confess that I haven’t been focusing so much on losing weight these past few months. In May, I was totally stoked and energetic about cutting calories (well, not really) and getting fit with Shaun T, but then I realized that I’ve got bigger problems. My food is attacking me. At first I thought that if I made a few adjustments, ate less dairy, less cookies, less this and that, I would start to feel better. That didn’t work as well I would have liked. Folks, when you’re waking up every morning with stomach pains and there’s no pill that can make it all better, there’s really only a few ways to rectify the situation. One, start from scratch!
I did a cleanse last year from the CrazySexyDiet book by Kris Carr and had amazing results, but I had the discipline then. I wasn’t living with my soul and foodmate at the time so I wasn’t easily influenced by temptation (love you, Baldy). In other words, I was a badass-juicing-raw-vegan-gluten-and-dairy-free-running-strength-training-detoxing machine. Mentally and physically, I was in the zone. My energy levels were super high, I felt sexy, and unstoppable. Then my 21 days were up and I had a hard time keeping up the new lifestyle. I wasn’t ready to go completely vegan let alone raw vegan. Day by day, I began to slip back into my old habits. I gained all of the weight I lost and then some. Not because the detox sucked, but my inner rebel resurfaced and I wanted what I wanted, when I wanted it. Helloooooo, cupcakes!
The good thing about the cleansing program is that I kept some of those healthy habits and found that I really enjoyed juicing. I continue to juice several times a month and oddly enough, my body never looked at dairy the same. I still eat a little bit here and there, but it’s not the star of my food dreams anymore and thank goodness for that.
The point of this post is that I need to detox again. It’s possible that gluten is trying to kill me and I think the stomach pains and feeling crappy is my body’s way of saying it needs a break and soon. It’s going to be a challenge, but one worth trying. Decisions, decisions. Am I ready to do this again?
I’ve been here for years. On the same journey, wishing for the same results, but allowing every little thing to become a distraction or a reason to celebrate with food. However, lately, I’ve been inspired to make a few small changes because Folks, it sucks to carry this extra weight. You know, those same twenty pounds that I vowed to lose last year are still here. Sure they’ve fluctuated from time to time, but they haven’t changed because my mindset is still the same. I’m still keeping the negative thoughts, processed foods, and despair into my life and that my friends is a recipe for redundancy. So what happens when you decide to replace that negative crap with something good? When you choose to eat more vegetables instead of bread? When you decide that eating in is so much awesomer than eating out? Well, sometimes! What happens when you decide that being healthy and feeling good is so much better than the alternative? I’m still pounding the pavement and working it out because giving up is not an option!
Blueberry Pie Protein Smoothie
1 cup unsweetened vanilla almond milk (40)
¼ cup rolled oats (150)
1 cup blueberries (83)
1/2 frozen banana, pieces (55)
1 cup spinach (7)
1 scoop protein powder, vanilla (120)